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Honoring Yourself

By February 6, 2025No Comments

 

You are allowed to say no. No is a complete sentence.

Putting Yourself First

You are not doing anyone a favor by saying YES when you mean NO. Mean what you say, and say what you mean. There is no need to say yes when you are feeling like you’re going against yourself. It only leads to resentment while poisoning your relationships. No is a full sentence. No is enough. You weren’t born with the sole purpose of pleasing everyone else. Give yourself permission to take care of yourself and say NO when needed. Now I know, if you are not used to saying no, this may bring on some anxiety. That is perfectly normal. If choosing yourself first is new to you, you may need some practice. Through practice, time, and dedication and compassion to yourself, healing is possible.

Honoring Yourself

Fear Of Rejection

Do you have fears of rejection? Maybe you’ve had bad experiences or childhood trauma and concluded that in order to be accepted and loved you must be or act a certain way. So you learn to change yourself to fit in. And you become who they want you to be. And they like you that way. And everything goes well for a while, until your true self comes out and you start realizing that you’re not happy. You may fit in but you don’t feel like you belong. Not truly. You’ve created an image but no one knows the real you. And it feels lonely.  What’s so bad about being you? Can you accept that person? The parts of you that you think aren’t lovable? People fall in love with authenticity. Not perfection. People relate to others who are flawed, who are humans. Can you show that part of yourself? And some people will reject you. But that’s ok. Ask yourself: do you even like them? Or do you just want to be liked? We are not meant to like everyone. And not everyone is supposed to like us. Hey, we don’t even like all the fruits and vegetables out there, yet alone people! Can you imagine if you forced yourself to like all the fruits in the world the same? Some people prefer bananas, some prefer apples. Both are great. Just different. And a banana could never be an apple. But it doesn’t need to be. It’s great the way it is. 

Attachment Therapy

Let’s talk about boundaries. Boundaries are learned through original attachment relationships with our caregivers. This is where we learn if the cost of connection is the loss of self or if we are allowed to be separate and different. Healthy boundaries make good relationships. But if you believe that either A) getting close to someone will mean you will lose yourself so you don’t get close or B) in order to create connections you must never state your own opinion, stand up for yourself or do what’s best for you, then there’s some healing there to do. And that’s okay. This healing is very much possible. Start with asking yourself what makes you comfortable and what makes you feel uneasy. Start listening to your inner wisdom. If you need assistance with this, that is perfectly okay. It’s okay to ask for help. If there is an attachment wound that you are carrying that is causing boundary issues in adulthood, reaching out to an attachment therapist would be incredibly beneficial. You deserve to put yourself first, you deserve healing. Reach out to a therapist in your area today.