Infidelity / Betrayal Trauma
Is it possible to trust again after your partner has been unfaithful?
The loss of the relationship you envisioned is heart shattering. You may experience intrusive thoughts, sleep disturbances, anxiety, depression, tension in your body, hypervigilance and inability to stop searching for new information “to make sense” of what happened. You may experience confusion, anger, feelings of powerlessness and decreased self- esteem. You may see triggers everywhere and be reactive. These are all betrayal trauma symptoms and they are similar to those who are struggling with post-traumatic stress disorder.
There are various causes of infidelity and they can be very complex.
Regaining trust is challenging but it is possible. Something new and beautiful can be created from the ashes of an affair. However, it takes work and your commitment to therapy.
Couples in Recovery
I’ve worked with clients struggling with substance and sex addictions for many years. I’ve also worked with partners of addicts.
I have additional training through the Gottman Institute specifically for couples where one partner is in recovery from addictions. I am a strong believer that couples therapy is an important aspect of recovery and healing for both partners.
I use a relational approach for assessment and treatment.
I work collaboratively with your individual therapists and other professionals who are helping you through the process of recovery and healing. Together, we will work on putting the pieces back together-work on honesty and trust, set healthy boundaries, process past hurts, manage conflict, support each other without taking on another’s individual work, and differentiate between healthy interdependency and unhealthy codependency traits, as well as process relational trauma that so often occurs in addiction.
Research suggests that healthy relationships are one of the strongest predictors of long-term sobriety. Couples in recovery can heal together and create a new loving and supportive relationship.
Expecting / New Parents
I am a Gottman Method Educator for couples who are expecting or recently became parents.
Transition to parenthood is such an exciting time for couples but it can also be a huge strain even on the strongest relationships. 67% of new parents experience conflict and disappointment. Lack of sleep, financial problems and never-ending “to do lists” can cause stress and a decline in relational satisfaction.
I conduct research-based workshops assisting couples becomes the best parenting team.
Additionally, I see couples in couples sessions to prepare them for life with baby. I provide a safe and supportive environment to help you learn techniques to strengthen your bond as a couple and nurture your baby’s development.
Couples therapy is one of my primary areas of expertise. I am a Gottman Method Couples Therapist.
This method is an evidence-based form of couples therapy that’s backed up by many years of research. It is now known what it takes for relationships to last, among all types of couples across all phases of life. I’d like to teach you these skills so that your relationship can be better than before.
I use thorough clinical assessments and interviews to determine your strength as a couple, as well as areas that need work.
During assessment period, I will also meet with you individually to better understand you and what else may be affecting your relationship. We determine treatment goals together. Our sessions are focused, and I am not “just a witness” to your ongoing conflict. I give you feedback and tools that you can take home with you and practice.
Couples seek therapy for a variety of reasons.
Whether your relationship has communication problems, lack of trust, emotional distance, or frequent conflict and arguments that leave you feeling alone in your partnership, you are in the right place.
We will work on creating a deeper sense of understanding and empathy, strive for connectedness in your relationship, improve communication and intimacy. The treatment plan is tailored to your needs and goals as a couple, and there are many research-based interventions that will help you get to your goals.
Pre-Marital / Preventative Therapy
According to marriage expert and researcher, Dr. John Gottman, most couples wait about six years of being unhappy before starting couples therapy.
That’s too many years of feeling disconnected, building resentment, having conflict, and experiencing hurt. It’s not surprising then that so many couples divorce.
Don’t wait. Start nurturing your relationship early on. You deserve to be in a happy relationship that lasts.
Arguments and disagreements are inevitable. Life has many ups and downs. You will have to face many challenges together, whether it’s about finances, children, family of origin issues, busy schedules, grief and loss, decreased romance and passion, etc.
Together we will explore many topics that are helpful for couples to discuss early on.
I am here to teach you how to keep your love, friendship and desire alive, how to manage conflict and learn to compromise, how to understand each other better and maintain connection and intimacy. We will discuss your future and prepare you to be the family you want to become. Using research-based interventions, we will identify your strengths as a couple and work on areas that need improvement.
Going through divorce and processing an end of a relationship and what it signified is quite painful.
This is a difficult process, but it can also be transformative. You can come out of this feeling strong, empowered, and most importantly- at peace with your decision.
Processing the relationship together and what it will mean in the future is important.
If you have children together, parenting will be a big part of your connection now. Therapy will focus on exploring and processing what’s unresolved, as well as determining a new way of being.