Couples and Family therapy

Individual Therapy

Phone/Online Sessions

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Your partner is constantly flirting with others. He/she says that it’s just a part of their personality. They are flirtatious by nature. But what they are actually doing is sending signals to others that they are available, even though they are not.
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The person you are dating doesn’t want the official title of being your girlfriend or boyfriend. They may not be ready. But they should also not expect to keep you with that partial commitment.
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You feel the need to pressure the person you are with to get married, move in together, have a baby, etc. It’s problematic to do this when your partner is uncertain. It’s hard for a union to be healthy if this is an attempt to deepen a connection. Let all those steps be the result of your strong commitment, not an attempt to forcefully create one.
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It’s important to decide what kind of a relationship you need and want. And then find the strength to walk away from anyone who isn’t able to give you that. Maybe in time they will change. Maybe they won’t. But you can’t change them. People change when and if they want to.
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You deserve someone who is fully in. You deserve someone who shows up for you. You deserve someone who chooses you completely. 💚 #datingadvice #mytherapycorner
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Hi, everyone ☀️
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While posts on social media are not substitutes for real therapy, I am so glad to be able to use this platform to spread awareness, education and support about topics that matter so much- love and connection, intimacy and communication, trauma and healing. 🌱
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I am so grateful for this community we have created here. I hope My Therapy Corner is your cozy space where you can learn to create new, healthier narratives around your past traumas and relationships. I hope you find empowerment here.✨
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I have exciting things coming up in 2020 so stay tuned! But for now, continue commenting, sharing and asking me questions. And if you are in Santa Monica/West LA in California or New York and Florida don’t hesitate to reach out for an in person or online appointment. 💚
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Sometimes couples don’t share their worries, complaints, needs and wants with each other. Why? If everyone agrees that communication is important, why don’t we communicate honestly about things that matter?
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The answers are many. Perhaps growing up in a family where being emotional was considered being “weak” stops us. Maybe every time we found courage to express our negative feelings we were punished. It’s possible that our caretakers were highly critical. It’s also possible we never observed adults communicating their differences in a loving, mature manner. So we don’t even know what that may look like! Maybe we grew up feeling responsible for taking care of others. And now we avoid being put in situations where we have to do the same. Maybe we fear abandonment and don’t want to “rock the boat” by bringing up issues.
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Regardless of the reasons, the question becomes about willingness: are you willing to feel discomfort and have difficult conversations anyway? Are you willing to learn how?
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See, research shows that “unfinished business” stays longer in our active memory than issues that we have already processed. This is called the “Zeigarnik effect.” (Another reason why therapy is just awesome! Let’s process all those issues and put them to rest already! 🙂
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When couples end arguments with amends and deeper understanding of each other, they can move on and forget the argument. In fact, it can get them closer together. But when issues go unaddressed, the pain remains and negative feelings and distance towards each other grow.
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Arguments don’t have to be scary. They can become discussions, opportunities to learn to love your partner better.
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In dating, this is equally important. Being assertive and communicating your needs and wants in a respective, kind manner will get you closer to getting what you want. Or, it will remove the wrong people from your life. Either way, a positive outcome. 💛
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Thank you @womenshealthmag and @rissygayle for including me on this list. What a lovely surprise,I am honored 💛
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I love being able to share what I am so passionate about. And I am so grateful to everyone following my page. 💛
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Please also see all the amazing therapists included on this list.💛
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https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/g29325006/instagram-therapists-for-relationship-advice/
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@mindfulmft @silvykhoucasian @nytherapist @nedratawwab @millennial.therapist @the.holistic.psychologist @gottmaninstitute @therapyforwomen @howtogetittogether @sitwithwhit @lizlistens @drlaurenfogelmersy @oakandstonetherapy @estherperelofficial @lisaoliveratherapy @elizagboquin @natlue
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Santa Monica, California
Hi everyone! Get to know me a little more. Check out my interview with @voyagelamag 💛 link in bio 💛
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The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. People are just as wonderful as sunsets if you let them be. When I look at a sunset, I don't find myself saying, "Soften the orange a bit on the right hand corner." I don't try to control a sunset. I watch with awe as it unfolds. - Carl Rogers (American psychologist, founder of the humanistic/ person-centered approach.)
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This is one of my all time favorite quotes. This is how I feel about people in my personal life and my wonderful clients.
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Let’s talk about how this relates to dating and being in a relationship. It takes two people to date: you and him/her.
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Let’s start with you. If you can’t accept all of you, flaws included, dating becomes difficult. You develop a need to be validated by the person you date, for him/her to show you how wonderful you are (when you don’t feel that way about yourself). You show up as an image of who you think you “should” be instead of who you truly are. Sooner or later the person you are dating picks up on this energy that’s disempowered, needy and inauthentic. However, something beautiful happens when you heal the parts of you that you don’t like. Not abandoning, not rejecting, but healing with kindness and compassion. Acceptance occurs. And when that takes place, change is then possible. You can work on improving. But you can’t do that if you are disowning parts of yourself.
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Now let’s say you are in a relationship already. Do you manipulate, force your partner to be who you think they should be? Or do you allow them to be who they are by creating a warm sense of emotional safety. “Tell me everything about you. Show me all of you. I will accept you, even if I don’t agree with you.” So often people nag, manipulate, force someone to be and to do what they want. It may even work. But it will never feel true. Allow your partner to be who they are. When you accept someone, their best version comes forward.
(Photo taken in Playa Del Rey, CA by me)