A loving relationship is not about having the upper hand- it’s about holding hands – J. Gottman.
Relationship Couples Therapy
Even the healthiest relationship has arguments. Arguments are actually not a problem in relationships. What makes a strong relationship is how you come together during an argument. Understanding that you are a team, and you must work together to combat conflict in relationships is what helps you grow as a couple. Disagreements in relationships are inevitable because no two people are going to agree on every single issue. It’s normal and healthy to have your own outlook and perspective on things. What makes a relationship unhealthy is disrespect in an argument, or being cruel, dismissive and mean.
A lot of times when people are disrespectful in arguments in their relationships, it is because they lack the personal tools to be able to fight together to find the root of a problem. Maybe one partner grew up in a household where conflict turning into yelling was normalized for them, so they don’t know any other way to argue. Or, due to past childhood trauma, betrayal trauma, etc, one partner may have triggers that the other partner is unaware of. Once one partner is triggered, it can be incredibly difficult to have a calm and rational conversation. Without an outside perspective on the relationship, it can be difficult to understand why arguments can sometimes go south in a relationship. That is why couples and relationship therapy can be so beneficial.
Healing and Couples Therapy
Maybe there was betrayal or/and infidelity, maybe one partner has childhood trauma or anxiety and the other partner does not know how to care for them the way they need to be cared for, maybe both partners have a problem with nervous system regulation, etc. The list for couples needing couples therapy can go on and on. There may not even be a reason that you can pinpoint for needing couples therapy; but it is likely that finding a therapist who you trust to bring into your relationship can help you understand each other better. Couples therapy can help you communicate your needs, complaints and pain in such a way so your partner can hear you. Relationships are important to nurture, they improve our mental health. But only if they are healthy.
Relationship Therapy Near You
Working with a couples therapist on your relationship is incredibly beneficial. Even if you might not be able to pinpoint what you want to work on in your relationship, having a third party professional can provide you with tools for healthier communication and overall a healthier relationship. Gottman Method couples therapy is an excellent modality of couples therapy if you are interested in an intervention-based approach. Contact a couples therapist in your area today and set up a consultation.
