Trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship, let’s talk about healthy communication and strengthening your bond.
People connect through intimate conversations. When the walls are down, there’s eye contact, undivided attention and genuine closeness. Sometimes,however, it’s hard to speak the truth. We may not know how to express negative feelings, how to say something that may hurt the other, we may feel uncomfortable with being that transparent and vulnerable. So we avoid it. Sometimes we lie. And this is all done in order to prevent the other person from feeling pain or to prevent us from feeling uncomfortable emotions. At times this can be due to childhood trauma, betrayal trauma, previous infidelity in relationships, or just simply that we grew up in families were being vulnerable and discussing feelings wasn’t safe or allowed. While avoidance of heavy conversations may seem like the better option in the moment, it is not what’s best for your relationship in the long run. Conflict in relationships is inevitable, but it is how you get through that conflict together that shows how healthy the relationship really is.
What To Do?
So you want to work on building trust in your relationship and strengthening your bond. Having the desire to put work into your relationship is the first step. When both partners put their heart into working on the relationship, the odds of having a successful and happy relationship are much higher. Here are 5 tips on strengthening the bond in your relationship:
- Gently speak the truth. Honesty connects people. Even if there’s pain, the truth heals. Sometimes not right away, but in time. Avoidance of truth erodes trust and creates a lingering feeling of betrayal.
- Be open to growth and change. We must cultivate our willingness to grow and change, to unlearn unhealthy relational patterns and habits, to communicate our needs openly, to walk away from people who treat us badly- to heal. Then we must choose to consistently show up for ourselves and our partners.
- Face conflict, head-on. Conflict avoiding couples do not strengthen their relationship by avoiding conflict. Instead, they become detached from each other and ignore their individual needs. Recognize that talking about what bothers you can be a good way for your partner to learn how to love you better. No one can read your mind. Expressing oneself helps.
- Pay attention to your needs and wants. To have a healthy, happy relationship you need to pay attention to what you feel, what you want and need. And ask for it. This is not selfish. This is necessary. In order to be in an intimate, authentic relationship we need to know our needs and know that they matter too. We then need to genuinely let the other person see us, flaws and all. Healing traumas from the past paves the way for a healthier relationship.
- Listen. Understanding must come before persuasion. Understanding your partner’s point of view will make him/her/them appreciate you more and feel respected. This will increase closeness in the relationship. This will turn conflict into healthy discussions.
For Information and Support
Seeking help for your relationship is never easy, but you are not alone! Sometimes having a professional third party provide insight on your relationship can make you realize things you may not have known before. Gottman Method therapists can be incredibly beneficial for dealing with conflict in relationships.
At My Therapy Corner, we have multiple therapists trained in Gottman Method couples therapy who are able to provide virtual, at home therapy. Contact us today to schedule a consultation.
