Skip to main content


Once upon a time you were a newborn baby, a new person on this planet open and willing to learn, to experience life. And so some good things happened. But bad things happened too. You were criticized, abandoned, betrayed, judged, not accepted, etc. You had your heart broken again and again. And you made sense of these events by making them mean something about yourself and the world. Maybe you dealt with people who weren’t healed themselves, who dumped their anxieties, insecurities and anger on you. And so you took it in, made it mean things about you, made it your own.


Effects of Childhood Trauma

Effects from childhood trauma may show up in many ways in your adult life. It may show up in dating or interpersonal relationships. It can show up as a form of general anxiety or lack of ability to regulate one’s nervous system, addiction, fear of abandonment, etc.  What happened to us as children, or what DIDN’T happen for us as children, affects the way we see the world as adults. If as children we witnessed things like domestic violence, addiction, infidelity, etc, this becomes our “normal”. Please remember that this does not mean that we are doomed to make the same mistakes as the generations before us. While some of us may be more predisposed to these types of negative coping habits, each and every person still has the opportunity to make better choices for themselves. This does not come easy, and takes dedication and commitment, but unlearning negative coping mechanisms is possible. What happened to you as a child is not your fault and out of your control, but how you decide to move forward is in your control.


Healing Traumas

Many people have gone through absolutely horrible things in their childhood (and in adulthood) and those experiences should not be shoved under the rug or dismissed. While these negative experiences are heavy to carry, it is important to remember that your wounds don’t have to become your identity. They can, however, be the wisdom you need to grow and transform. You are not what happened to you, you are the person who can observe those experiences and grow, heal from them. While you didn’t ask for bad things to happen to you, and while it’s okay to feel grief, sadness, and any other negative emotions, please believe that there’s something better out there waiting for you. You know you have healed when the past is neutral. It’s just an experience you had. It doesn’t direct your life. It no longer defines you. You are not reactive to any triggers reminding you of the past. You are free. Moreover, you’ve taken valuable lessons from the past and directed them towards your growth.

Now the question is, how do you heal? Healing is a different process for every single individual, due to different childhood traumas and life experiences. If you find yourself feeling stuck or unable to process childhood traumas, a great first step is to reach out to a therapist in your area. Carrying the weight of your traumas and living a certain way for your entire life can be difficult to change on your own. Speaking to a professional and finding out what it is that you need to work on is the first step towards healing.


Therapy Healing

Childhood trauma almost always affects how we cope with difficult situations and emotions in adulthood. Reaching out to a therapist in your area and discovering what therapy modalities could be most beneficial to you is the first step towards a happier, healthier lifestyle. Some of these modalities may include, EMDR, Attachment-Focused EMDR, Polyvagal, among many others. What happened to you as a child was not in your control, but how you decide to move forward is.